One of my biggest fears use to be becoming unsuccessful but I don't believe that anymore. It's even impossible to fathom that lie anymore, knowing failure is not an option for me.

But I am a hopeless romantic scared as FUCK to fall in love. I know. How schizophrenic does that sound. I have become so guarded that I question every motive and have self sabotage any possible potential for love in the past. And being a single mother doesn't help either which gives me more reason to be overprotective of my space, heart and mind. I tell myself "I can't love anyone right now because I can't compromise my time with my daughter." I mean I don't have the leisure of having a babysitter which I don't like leaving her with unless deemed necessary, like a birth. And I am a recent transplant her in Austin, TX so really I have no family and friends.

Yes there's some pain here and fear of being hurt again even though I know it's inevitable but are they worth the hurt? I guess I need the assurance that person will be patient with my guardedness in a generation which is quick to give up for most people pursue relationship with very selfish motives.

You see at the age of 16 I intentionally surrounded myself around successful partnership/marriages to look up to for I never saw that growing up. At my current age, I have already witnessed several of my friends experience divorce and broken families. I guess I need to know that person has the same value system as I which is the advancement of the institution of the family and has the vision of "empireship" for our children. Most of all I must feel a willingness to submit to his imperfections as the one I have chosen to lead my daughter and I. But most importantly, I always speak and admire all the relationships that started with friendship.

Maybe I use my daughter as an excuse but if I'm not good she's not good. She is my #1 priority. So if your are not someone I would not have my daughter look up to why would I brother to enter into courtship with you?

Are you worthy of courting my daughter and I?

But that doesn't face the fact my propensity to be guarded. So as I am fully confident of the success of my future I must be also confident in love. So for the new moon (March 28th) I will charge my Rose Quartz yoni egg (as well as charge my carnelian and Green Aventurine crystals) and clutch my yoni until the pink moon (April 11th) approaches any beyond, lol! I will say prayers and be open to the possibilities for I love in a world with limitless miraculous abundance in all things. I will NOW believe I am deserving of love while I continue to LIVE my life.

With Venus (my ruling planet) being in the New Moon it's believed to bring hope of love and money. A New Moon represents the end of one cycle and the beginning of another new 28 day cycle. So today I decide to embrace love for myself and for my future partner if granted God-willingly-and if not I am still content but I will at least be totally honest with my Creator of ALL my desires. I will begin to pray for his well-being whoever he is; before I ever meet him or have an idea of who he is. I will look to put old habits to death and welcome any positive energy while still being intuitive/discerning. I will be honest with myself and anyone I cross paths with and not hold prisoner my feelings but also not take my feelings as law for feelings are fickle. I will remove thoughts that no longer serve me.

As the new year has entered in (March 2lst), this new moon symbolizes leadership, new ideas and taking action. I will be making plans, pushing forward and charting new courses, not only in love, as the Pink Moon (April 11th) and my Birthday (April 21st) approaches. Let all of us nourish, heal and love ourselves. Make space in our lives for self-love. Take action on our lives based from a place of love, whatever that may be. Take advantage of the new moon...

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Dallas, TX first Black Breastfeeding Gathering in August 2016 created by Tiny & Brave Holistic Services

Tiny & Brave is for the mother and her little one. It is providing women with the best model of care as a birth worker. Tiny & Brave is for the well-being of the whole person; men and women-spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. Tiny & Brave are for those seeking to be counseled through their life experiences. It is for the less fortunate. It is for those who are considered insignificant. It's for those not often spoken of, like fathers. It is for the ones who are courageous enough to face their fears. It is for those who saw a need for others and found a solution. Tiny & Brave is to give awareness to the issues that are not being discussed. Tiny & Brave is a medium to advocate for those who don't have a voice.

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. I first came aware of the birth world through a movie called "Losing Isaiah" Starring Halle Berry and Jessica Lange. I later encountered a woman who sparked my interest in becoming a midwife. In 2003, I became a doula through DONA. I was embraced by my mentor and midwife Memaniye Cinque of Dyekora Sumda Midwifery Services in Brooklyn, NY and through her was introduced to her first birth. It was there that I knew she wanted to become a midwife. In 2006, I went overseas through the African Birth Collective in Senegal, West Africa assisting midwives in labor and delivery. I have also been employed as a Live-Advisor at Pathways PA to teenage mothers. I completed a Graduate certificate from Boston University in Maternal and Infant Care in Public Health. And on May 7th, 2016 I received my Master's in Counseling with a concentration in Marriage and Family. But my biggest accomplishment is having my daughter Glorious-Zoëlle Shaddai Verneus on June 17th, 2014. This was the pinnacle event in my life that confirmed why I should finally become a midwife, now or never.

I relocated to Austin, TX to follow her dream of being a Certified Professional Midwife and is currently enrolled in Mercy In Action's online Midwifery program while doing her apprenticeship. I resided in Philadelphia, PA with my daughter where I was a doula through Maternity Care Coalition directed by Ms. Naima Black; before relocating to Texas. I have also worked as a Family Advocate within the Philadelphia community. I have been a social service professional since 1999.

I desires to serve families in the urban community; and overseas, such as Haiti in the near future.

I now seek to counsel and serve women who have experienced trauma. Grieved by my own trauma, as well as the abuse of women and children and the lack of value of the urban family; I seek to help to bring that importance of the family unit back for all parties are vital to the development of the urban community and family. I have always worked with women through the amazing process of witnessing another woman walk in her own power-emotionally, mentally, physically and/or spiritually.

The reason I desire to serve this population is because at the current time, despite the long history of midwifery in black community, black women currently represent less than 2% of the nation’s reported 15,000 midwives.

Each experience I had in serving women and children has reinforced my passion and calling. I believes the most impact in one's life can begin is at the moment of conscious conception and as a doula we have the opportunity to assist in helping a woman/mother know her virtue, resources and choices for herself and her baby.

I offer affordable doula care in my current community to those facing financial hardship but still desire her services. I also offer doula services for free to teenage mothers.

Barbara Verneus is a doula/birth companion, student midwife, family health advocate, maternal life coach, motivational speaker and mother of one based in Austin, TX. She has a masters in counseling with a concentration in marriage and family. Barbara has been featured on various platforms, such as:

Mater Mea http://www.matermea.com/blog/2015/3/24/how-having-my-daughter-saved-my-life

Mater Mea http://www.matermea.com/blog/fulfilling-my-purpose-essay

Mater Mea http://www.matermea.com/blog/2015/9/18/11-life-lessons-my-1-year-old-has-taught-me

Madame Noire http://madamenoire.com/592614/11-life-lessons-my-1-year-old-has-taught-me/

Black Women Birthing Justice http://www.blackwomenbirthingjustice.org/single-post/2016/05/11/Facing-and-Healing-from-Abuse-During-Pregnancy-by-Barbara-Verneus

Not So Private Parts http://notsoprivateparts.life/blog/2016/5/13/birth-of-a-midwife

Anjelica Malone http://www.anjelicamalone.com/tag/barbara-verneus/